Allison to Lillia - Episode 10

It's been a while since we last got to enjoy some Allison to Lillia, but here we are again, gathered to take in episode ten of the series, "The Train Known as Stupdity.. oops, sorry, Conspiracy". Once again, it seems that when the going gets tough, the script writers get going... to the nearest off-license, as what followed a rather sedate ninth instalment somehow manages to be, while not quite as daft as some early episodes, still somehow a bit stupid.

After yet again failing to 'get it on' with Wil (who this time is too tired to get the point, rather than simply too stupid), Allison spends some time watching the view from the observation lounge where she meets up with Major Stork - A man who, given his rather intense interest in Allison and Wil's relationship in the conversation that follows, should probably be referred to henceforth as Major Pervert.

The next morning, our favourite couple who aren't because Wil is an idiot unwittingly play witness to a muder, as a masked man pushes a guard from the back of the train before making his escape across the carriage rooftops. Who could this man, wearing goggles to aid his sight that look uncannily like the glasses worn by Major Stork, possibly be? We have no idea of the identity of this mysterious man at all. Next, a man apparantly well known as a magnate during the war announces that he is the intended victim of the killer, which led me to assume that the killer was only interested in finishing him due to the target's ridiculous handlebar moustache, but it appears that my powers of deduction are a little off.


With the target of this devious crime seemingly established, Major Pervert decides to abandon all of the passengers at a nearby military base so that the war magnate can be 'safely transported' to his destination... With Allison, Will, Ker and Fi coming along for the ride of course. Wil suspects something isn't quite right, but he's still 'thinking about it' when all Hell breaks loose, as they find that their train is being followed by a heavily armed military train.

Using his decades of military experience, Major Stork decides to attack this armoured train with... A little pistol. Does this daring and not entirely ridiculous attack work? Find out next week....

I know, I know, I really must stop slating this series and poking fun at it so liberally, but it's just so much fun, and to be honest talking about an episode of this rather average calibre in its own right is rather difficult, as there simply isn't much to say. Wil is as dull as dishwater (although he perhaps should gain bonus points for laughing about falling on his arse when someone has died just moments previously), Ker is surprisingly dumb for someone who ended a war, and the previously bold and brash Fiona now seems content to play the pretty girlfriend role. All of this is without the hammy, cliched bad guys and blazingly obvious plot points that are somehow still a complete mystery to the rest of the characters. Even Scooby Doo managed to make the eventual discovery of the culprit more suprising than this...