Wednesday 24 September 2008

Allison to Lillia - Episode 17

After quite a while with no Allison to Lillia to amuse myself, I'm suddenly drowning in a veritable sea of episodes of this series, which means that we don't have to wait too long to find out the answer to that most baffling of questions from the last instalment - Why the Hell would you want to deliberately crash a plane full or orphans? I can imagine that even Osama bin Laden was left scratching his head over that, huge fan of Allison to Lillia that he is.

Thankfully, episode seventeen answers this question emphatically, but perhaps unsurprisingly for this series it makes basically no logical sense whatsoever. It appears that the leaders of the region in question are fed up of the terrible conditions of squalour and starvation, and decide that these problems need to be brought to the world loud and clear. Normally, this would involve some kind of telethon featuring famous people running marathons or dressing in stupid outfits and having slime poured on them, but it appears that Turkasia's version of this is to shoot down a plane full of orphans, which of course will send the world into a frenzy of despair and bring about massive changes to the region. Now there's something you won't hear from one of the US Presidential candidates as a plan for a bright new future.


There is of course a rather small adjustment that could have been made to this 'cunning' plan - Seeing as these kids are orphans, and thus have no parents to note their loss, why do they even need to kill anybody at all? Sink an empty plane, say it was full of orphans, et voila! Sympathy and money by the barrel on your doorstep, and not a single annoying street urchin side character done away with. Of course, this might have made for a slightly less entertaining episode of Allison to Lillia, but... actually, then again, maybe not.

Anyhow, back to the plot, we see Treize manage to take down a fighter plane with the wing of the seaplane, which would normally be the kind of thing to trigger a quick downing of the aircraft by the remaining fighters before anything was done. But no, instead the Captain of these fighters sees an ideal opening to discuss his plans for the future, Summer holiday destinations and the weekend's football with Lillia and Treize, which just so happens to give Allison enough time to turn up and turn the tables on them. Polite as can be, Allison shoots down the various remaining fighters, while kindly reminding them that this may be a good opportunity to eject from the crashing aircraft. Really, I'm not sure they needed to be reminded...

With the evil, misguided pilots out of the way (although Treize really seemed to be warming to their ideas - I was expecting him to ask for a subscription to Rather Stupid Terrorist Idea Magazine at any moment), all that is left is for Treize to land the plane on the water. Which he does. On some bedrocks - Good job that man. While all of this is going on, Lillia remains too dumb to notice that Allison is calling Treize 'Prince', while he jabbers on about his royal bloodline - Then again, she hasn't noticed that Wil/Travas is her father yet, and it took Allison about half a dozen episodes to notice her father before that, so I suppose she isn't the most buoyant seaplane in the fleet.

So, join us next episode, where all the orphans that we've spent the last two episodes saving drown horribly because Treize can't land a plane and Allison is happy to just fly around and watch. Marvellous, I can't wait!

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