Allison to Lillia - Episode 26 (Completed)

It's taken what seems like an eternity, but it's with a heavy heart and some sadness that I come to the end of Allison to Lillia, a series that has brought so much laughter and entertainment to so many of us, with almost all of it having occurred entirely unintentionally.

Of course, episode twenty-five left us with an almighty cliffhanger, as we learned that Treize was the real planned victim of all the crazy plotting, with Lillia captured as a hostage to lure him into the net (why they didn't just capture Treize in the first place is beyond me). So, once Allison and Treize realise that they're unable to run as fast as a train (other people in this series have managed it, so don't be too hard on them for trying), they have to decide what to do next. Luckily at this point Travas appears, showing obvious relief that Treize is safe, and mild disappointment that his daughter is in danger. Again. After quizzing some of the other passengers on board, they soon learn who the true mastermind behind this whole state of affairs is - The doctor who was on board the train. "But he looked like such a nice guy" exclaims Allison, clearly blind to the fact that he looked so totally and generically evil that he may as well have had "Yes, I am a criminal" tattooed to his forehead. Her next question wasn't much brighter either... "So, what kind of person is this Criminal Number 42?". Oh, I don't know Allison, I've heard he's a really nice guy who runs a playground, subscribes to a cross-stitching magazine and owns The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in its entirety on audio book...


Anyway, clearly fed up of the moronic company he's keeping these days, Treize dashes off in a jeep to rescue Lillia, with Allison and Travas close behind. Treize somehow manages to make one of those impossible vehicle to vehicle leaps so beloved of recent episodes to board the criminal's train, but finds that all of the emergency brakes have been disabled. Not only that, but if the speed of the train goes slower than 50 miles per hour it'll explode. Wait, sorry, that's Speed, but it's something like that. This incredibly intelligent and devious murderer has obviously dropped the soap once too often in prison however, as his masterplan to capture and kill Treize also involves said criminal mastermind dying, which he doesn't seem to mind at all. Mind you, having starred in an episode of Allison to Lillia I suppose a watery death is a veritable promotion.

Of course, with all this going on Treize finally has to admit to Lillia that he's a prince, but his opportunity to confess is ruined by Allison and Travas (can't I just start calling him Wil again) turning up on a plane, for no particular reason other than the fact that every Allison to Lillia story arc must contractually feature a plane at some juncture. Travas' plan is to shoot the link connecting the train's engine from the remaining carriage, but as per usual for him he leaves it too late, allowing the criminal to drag Lillia and Treize onto the roof of the train's engine. With a broken bridge coming up, time is of the essence, so we commence what is actually a surprisingly good action sequence involving hanging a ladder out of the plane. Of course, just as Treize is about to be lifted to safety with Lillia, the criminal manages to grab his ankle, preventing his escape and leaving Lillia watching in horror (and me with glee) as the train crashes into the river, killing the criminal and Treize instantly.

Except of course this is Allison to Lillia we're talking about, and we can't possible have an unhappy ending like that. So, Treize inexplicably (literally, they don't even try to explain it, I'm not even sure Jesus could have pulled off this resurrection) survives and returns, while Criminal Number 42 doubtless died horribly. Trezie and Lillia get to dance together, and then none of the other major plot points we might have cared about are resolved, leaving the door open to another series. Oh good God almighty let me be wrong about that.

So, at the end of it all I'm left with weirdly mixed feelings. On the one hand I'm going to genuinely miss Allison to Lillia, as what other anime series am I going to rail about and poke merciless fun at after this? If someone were ever to apply the Myster Science Theater 3000 concept to anime, then this series should be its poster child - Hell, I'd even write the damn scripts for it myself. Outside of the enjoyment I've garnered from tearing this series limb from limb - The implausible stories, the stupid exclamations, the bent and broken laws of physics, and that ending... ohhh, the ending - This is without a doubt the worst anime series I've ever watched. Yes, I know that sounds harsh, and there are doubtless worse shows out there, I just haven't seen them yet thankfully. Luckily good and bad are often on a circular scale, meaning that things become so bad that they're actually good in a twisted kind of way, and as unintentional comedy goes Allison to Lillia definitely achieves that with distinction.